Dear S,
It was nice meeting you and your mom at our house!
My mom delightfully informs me that you’ve accepted the marriage proposal. However, I hope you won’t be too offended by what I’m about to reveal to you. Actually, I’m writing this mail to re-introduce myself.

You see, I’m not at all the kind of girl my family projected me as in front of you both. Yes, I’m an MBA and working for one of the best travel agencies in the country. Also, my mother was right when she proudly mentioned how I enjoy my job and that I have recently won the ‘Best Employee of The Year,’ award. (You should know, I love traveling and my job gives me a chance to fulfill my biggest dream of traveling the world).

However, everything else my mom supplied about me that day is a lie. All the qualities she mentioned so elaborately are actually hers and she feels, being her daughter; sooner or later I’ll also evolve to her level. What she’s not ready to accept is that I’m unlike her. I’ll never be able to do half the things she does so patiently for the family and others. I love food but am not much of a help in the kitchen. I blurt out things which I’m not supposed to talk about. My brother refers to me as ‘the argumentative woman.’ I don’t take too kindly to that title but that’s how things stand between us.

Now, don’t get this otherwise! I’m alright. It’s just that I’m not exactly how people expect me to be. Moreover, I hate pretending to be someone I’m not. Let me explain this further with an example: I really cannot make out the difference between Kanjeewarams and Banarsi, having hardly worn any myself; that too mostly to please mom. In fact, I prefer no – frills and comfortable dressing. That is why I was at a loss for words when your mom praised my choice of saree and remarked she herself prefers wearing a Kanjeevaram over a Banarasi. Frankly, I’d picked up that particular one (on my mom’s insistence) only because I liked its blue color.

Somewhere between college and my first job I began to realize that people expected me to act and behave in a certain way. Their definition of a woman was vastly different than my own. My specific gender is no big deal to me but I guess it is to others. It felt odd to go against my basic nature still I tried to make everyone around me happy. You see, I like to see people happy. However, I felt by doing so I was neglecting and disrespecting myself. Just to prove that I love my family, I decided to make a sincere effort to change.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Of course, I did all this for my own sake too. You see, everyone wants to belong. I am no different. However, I could not go against my basic nature for long. Slowly, I started questioning the ideas and views that disturbed me. This led to tensions in my relationships. My reputation as an odd, headstrong and impolite woman spread in our community and made my parents jittery. Soon, no family with a son of marriageable age from our community was keen to interact with my parents.

While many girls my age found a suitable match. I was ignored. This suited me fine. I was ready to stay unmarried for the rest of my life to the great distress of my parents. And then, out of the blue, your mom met mine and got along well. It seems my reputation has not traveled to your family yet. My mom emotionally blackmailed me into being my best quiet – self that day and I agreed.
Now tell me, after knowing all this would you still marry me?
I’ll await your reply.